Random Posts!!!
.Monday, December 14, 2009 .9:19 PM .
DAPHNE CASSANDRA NG
A happy talk with my new found friend SARAH ANNE WONG!!!
A nice girl to talk to, to pour out my unhappiness and most importantly getting to know each other right from the start :)
Ok saying this right from my deepest heart...
I really felt that a knife pierced through my heart and i could feel the pain as my heart beats every second....
I cant deny, I do feel jealousy within me today....
Its just the close intimacy that i saw today that makes me think this way...
After telling you how i feel you say SHE IS JUST A FRIEND OF MINE and asked me not to worry...
But all i can say is i can just shut up and sealed my mouth from declaring it to you....
But i could hear someone telling me "express your feeling and dun keep it to yourself"...
I really hated myself to say things that will create conflict and fights ove and over again...
Sometimes i really Hope you can understand me and how i feel and all....
I know you care for me right from the start, supporting me in everyway that you can provide me with....
And also taking care of me when my health fails to function like a normal human body...
You carried me to the clinic...
Pampered me with verbal words...
Touch me with messages and used actions to show how much you actually love me from the start.....
I really dun want to restrict you from your circle of friends and rather let you have the freedom to mingle around....
I think there goes the same for me too...
But sometimes seeing how close you are to a particular someone i do feel my negative respond relasped back and i have got nothing to say but just sit in silence.....
I have the habit of just walking away or rather running away from the problem rather than solving it....
I have this habit that i admit i got to change.
Seeing you happy and out of trouble makes me good.
So everything that i am doing for you now is to let you be happy being with me.
Just a short prayer before i end off....
Dear God,
Grant me the strength to get out of my old self, i want to change to be someone who supports.
Let not my mind think negatively rather to be more a positive thinker.
Let everyone around me esp my loved ones (my love,best friend,my family and etc those who are dear to me) to be happy always.
Even if one day i am gone i dun plan to ask much but just make them happy and i will be happy.
Guide me in my studies and to my best of my ability i wanna get the grades i want and hope for constantly....
Grant me my dreams, hopes and wishes that i have been praying for and let me lead a good life ahead...
I love you.
AMEN....Labels: i want a transformation
